I had my routine eye examination today. (Next week I have an appointment to update my will and make a medical directive. The following week I begin my vaccine regimen . . . my forced march through necessary stuff.) But back to the eye exam. When I read the alphabet charts competently, the optometrist complimented me and I asked him if I'd earned an "A". He said that I had. For all of my life, I've been trying to make the grade. I didn't create the competitive arena, but I have to confess that I have thrived in it. In school, in sports, in work, I have enjoyed pitting my skill and energy against that of other players, hoping to win whatever prize the game offered. Grades, trophies, money, prestige. Now, however, I think I have stepped outside the familiar world of competition. Just today I began to realize that this is one of the best things about giving my life to mission. Yes, of course, I will work hard and give my best effort. And, yes, other people will inevitably evaluate how effective I am. But the prize is no longer directly tied to that evaluation, or even, really, to my effectiveness. The prize is my deepening relationship with God, and I will have that even if I mess up, big time. I hope I DON'T mess up, but I go forward in faith that God will be with me, no matter what. No promotions, no raises. Just the constant blessing of God's grace. Mission service is a lot like the eye exam. Loving God is a lot like the eye exam. You sit in the twilight and try to see as clearly as you can. You get an "A" for whatever visual acuity you were given.