The only thing as insatiable as the Chinese appetite for ceremony is the Chinese appetite for competition. So the 2007 Sports Meeting, (click here for pictures) the first of its kind a Gansu United University, was widely rumored and long anticipated. Understand that there is no campus calendar of events ... things just happen when they happen, often with little advance notice. My first clue that the Sports Meeting would begin on May 18 came on May 11, when my 4:30 class unilaterally canceled our lesson, so that they could go out and rehearse for the opening parade. The following week I learned that my presence would be required at no fewer than two rehearsals, where I would form ranks with my colleagues and learn to march, military-style, under the blazing summer sun and the tutelage of a good-humored PE teacher. Every academic department had adopted a colorful, distinctive T-shirt. I was instructed to march in my best outfit, and wasn't issued a T-shirt. My disappointment subsided when I learned that the other teachers were expected to return their shirts after the parade. The department's Communist Party Secretary promptly collected all of our little Olympic flags as soon as the parade ended.

I participated in one obstacle race, and received a prize -- a bottle of aloe shampoo -- despite the fact that I had finished last. The prizes for first and second place were more lavish -- bathtowels and bedsheets. The Sports Meeting lasted two full days. A wonderful time was had by all!