The Lexicon of Bus Language

(Note: Taxis speak a dialect that has a specialized vocabulary and emphasis tailored to the smaller vehicle .)

"Bip...bip...bip...": (three quarter notes in a high register). "Pedestrians and bicyclists, if you hustle up and get out of my way, I promise not to run you over."

"Bleat, bleat . . ." (two half notes in a middle register). "To those of you who can’t see me yet around this blind corner/curve, I’m huge and I’m coming full speed!"

"Bleat, bleat, bleat . . ." (three half notes in the same register). "I’ve reached cruising speed, against all odds. Please don’t get in my way!"

"Blaaaghhhh!" a terrible, sustained blast. "I am now going to turn left into your path (or cut you off, or run you off the road). Do not even consider challenging my decision if you value your life."

Today the university bus knocked a woman off of her bicycle on the unpaved lane between Yan Tan and the Huang He. The driver jammed the bus out of gear and vaulted over the engine hub into the street; people piled out to see. She was OK, and we were on the way again in seconds. I marvel that anyone ever survives this journey, on or off the bus, let alone day after day. One afternoon the driver stopped, hopped out, and brought on board a ten liter gas can about two thirds full of gas. He set it on the floor behind the engine, right near my feet.* We bounced along, and the gas can bounced along. As it quickly warmed to interior temp, pressure began to build, and gas to ooze around the cap. Every now and then, the driver reached back absently and tightened the cap, which only made the pressure and the oozing worse. Bounce, bounce. Ooze, ooze. I pray quite a lot on the bus.

Every month, the university changes which of its five buses will serve each route. Is this to evenly distribute wear and tear on the buses? But all of them must traverse the unpaved kilometers to campus. Maybe it’s to keep all of the drivers familiar with all of the routes? That’s possible. My own theory is that it’s so that everyone on the faculty is familiar with the personalities and mood swings of the five drivers, and to expose all of us in a democratic way to the roulette of risk factors that their temperaments, in combination with random traffic conditions, may produce. Yes, I pray a lot on the bus!

*There are reserved seats at the front of the university bus for the foreign teachers. The antimacassar on the seat says so in Chinese. Our efforts to mingle are routinely rebuffed.